Wednesday, November 7, 2012
A "trying" time
I've never used my blog as a way to vent or complain, but I am desperate for some support and advice. Fellow stay-at-home moms, do you ever feel like throwing in the towel and giving up? That is what I am going through right now. I remember going through this same thing when Iris was Kate's age (10 months old.) As of lately, I feel like my sanity is being tested every single day. Kate cries and cries and cries if I am not holding her. That alone is killing me. I can handle the busyness of 3 kids, but one can only take so much crying. And then the crying on top of my 3 year old and 5 year old who are whining all day for snacks and treats and drinks and gum...it pushes me over the edge. And if that wasn't enough, of course there is the never-ending dishes piled in the sink and 5 large hampers that are ALWAYS full of clothes no matter how often I do laundry. Oh and the toys...toys everywhere. I am tripping over toys, the kids are fighting over toys, and I CANNOT keep toys picked up for the life of me. If you know me, you know I do not like clutter. Clutter makes my life feel very unorganized. These toys are cluttering my house and this stresses me out! I'm just at this point where I feel like I cannot do it anymore. I contemplate going back to working full-time, but I just don't think that's the right thing to do. Daycare costs would be outrageous for 3 kids and I wouldn't be bringing in extra income (which would really bother me.) And aside from that, I would feel like I was giving up...basically saying I am not capable of being a stay-at-home mom of three kids....here you go, can you raise my kids for me? Ahhh, I can't do it. I know this is just a phase, the same phase I went through a couple of years ago, and it too shall pass. In the beginning 3 kids wasn't much of an adjustment, and then Kate slept less and cried more. Oh, and did I mention I don't sleep? Kate still wakes in the night and Iris meanders her way into our bed every single night, kicking me in the ribs as she tosses and turns. So if you put everything together....lack of sleep, three small children under the age of 5, a baby that cries all the time, whining toddlers, endless housework, and not a second to spare for time to myself...can you blame me? I am posting this for advice...what has worked for you? I am posting this because it's time that I vent to someone (or everyone in this case). I am posting this because maybe all I need to hear is that I am not failing and that someone else out there feels the same way I do. I love my kids so very, very much. I am thankful to be home with them, watching them learn and grow. I just need to find a balance and a way to cope with the daily stresses. I need to learn how to enjoy my kids in the midst of stress and chaos. That's all. Thanks for listening.